Supporting an autism mum through pregnancy

Being a parent to my autistic and neurotypical kids is definitely the best and hardest thing I have ever done.  They are amazing little people - except for Anthony of course as he's now an amazing tall person since he became a teenager!  I was pregnant with our second son, David, when we were sat in the Paedatrician's office and autism was first mentioned by the professionals.  The Paediatrician said that it was possible that autism was genetic but they don't really know.  

Helping autistic kids adjust to a new baby

I remember when we found out our eldest, Anthony, was autistic, I was pregnant with David. Then I was pregnant with Jane when we found out about David. A friend of mine is expecting and as parents of autistic kids often do, we were chatting through how things were and she admitted being nervous about bringing a new baby into the family and how their autistic child might react.  

When there is nothing to do but wait

I'm not good at waiting. I like short tasks and quick outputs if I'm honest about it.  Unfortunately there's a lot of waiting involved as a parent of a child with special educational needs.

When his sister cries, and what my autistic son did

David's world is mostly centred around David. It's the same for most kids when they are younger. Their primary concern is around themselves and what they need and want. As David's sister has grown, she's learned that taking into account what David needs is important for the family.

How will we cope with an Elf on the Shelf

December came and so did a new comment from our youngest, Jane. “Sarah and Julian both have a magical Elf on the Shelf that talks to Father Christmas.” After a few days of  ‘Elf on the Shelf this..’ and ‘Elf on the Shelf that..’ it became apparent that what Jane was really after was an Elf of her own. She even made a video to Santa on my phone that I found late on Monday night. But Elf on the Shelf is a bit difficult in our house.

This post has been updated. Read the post here>>

The intuition of additional needs siblings

Sometimes I'm amazed by my kids.  Anthony's acceptance of himself as a child who is autistic and has a diagnosis of ADHD; David's ability to find happiness in the smallest of moments.  Then there is the times I'm brought to tears by an interaction I never thought possible; the first time my two boys actually communicated and spoke to one another.  It was just a word.  It was brilliant.   Most of the time I'm very aware that I need to be around for these things to happen.  How could Anthony and David cope without me?  Of course, I should know better.

A birthday party with autistic siblings

It's not unusual for autistic kids to miss out on the whole birthday party scene.  Even the loudest and little five year old can feel overwhelmed with the new chaos and general attack on the senses that is a kids birthday party.   But that doesn't mean they should miss out, especially when it's their siblings birthday.

My daughter wants to be a King

When the parent mail pounced on my inbox, I sighed.  'Reception Nativity Costumes' it said. Of course, many reception parents delight in the excitement of the first nativity play.  As a mum of three, I've seen a fair few.  We've also had the chaos of costumes mixed in with two autistic boys.  'At least that won't be the case with Jane' I smiled to myself as I opened up the email.  So true, in fact, Jane's costume chaos cheered me up no end.

You don't need to shield your kids from my autistic children

In the last few days our youngest daughter Jane has started reception - and she is super excited.  For a week she does half days, so in a few days she will be on the regular school pick up run. This means she will be there and sometimes I may have her autistic brothers with us.

My top five most illustrious third child parenting admissions

The news is out (as is the bump). The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have chosen to go for a third child. And why not - children are wonderful, each unique and special.  And maybe that's a good description of my parenting... err. unqiue and special?

Helping siblings with different abilities play together - Crouching Tigers

Sometimes it's difficult for the kids to play together - what am I talking about, a lot of the time it's difficult.  The holidays are upon us and this means less school mates and resorting to playing with siblings.  Two of our boys are autistic.  David is pre-verbal and thinks like a child half his age and Anthony also has ADHD.  Jane on the other hand is highly social and imaginative and desperate to play with her brothers.  This means we need to help them play and recently this means adapting games.  So we've created Crouching Tigers to help them play together.

The reality and the ridiculous

Honestly, I don't know what we'd do without the trampoline in the garden and the trees to climb. In the winter I really miss being able to watch the kids throw themselves about in a fit of giggles (them... and me actually).  During the weekends we try and get outside to enjoy the space.  Now the evenings are lighter and warmer so begins the ritual of throwing them out the back door to play, and sometimes joining in.

Using the kids iPads to play with them with augmented reality flashcard

Kids addicted to their iPads? Don't get me wrong, the tablets in our home are used for far more than just zoning out to repeated episodes of Peppa Pig. In fact, Peppa features relatively infrequently. David has autism and he uses his iPad as a way of learning new skills, understanding and coping with the world. What I can find disappointing is there is no way for me to interact with him on the device. But I've recently found a way, through iPad enabled flash cards.

Siblings, lies and untruths

"That's a lie."

"No, it's not."

I can not even hazard a guess at how many times I've heard this exchange in our house over the last few weeks. Part of this is due to Anthony, our eight year old autistic son who has never told me a lie in his life.  Never.  And he also has difficulty in understanding when someone is lying, and someone is playing or joking around.

Do you have Magic Fairy Wings?

Jane just loves dressing up and role play. Put a foil pencil in her hand and she is a magical fairy or a prince with a sword.   A pirate hat makes her pink beard(!?), pirate of the rainbow seas and when she flips it around she's an astronaut in a rocket and 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..... she's blasted off the back of the sofa and landed on cushion moon. But it's not that easy for all my kids.

When your three year old daughter plays the mother

No one plans to be the mother to autistic children.  It's almost impossible to do so.  But no one plans to have a daughter playing the role of mother when she is just three years old either. I've been trying to work out if this is a happy post or a sad post.. and I'm still not sure.

A terrifying reminder that all my children are vulnerable

I used to think some of the parents collecting their kids from the school were insane. They'd be stood chatting away with a selection of small children milling and running around them. What are they doing? The road is right there, I thought.

Being a parent has made me fitter than I thought

OK, so I admit it. I was online, possibly tweeting and definitely not doing anything with the enormous pile of laundry that has taken over the utility room.   My alarm had gone off to let me know it's nearly time to go and get the kids from their various schools but I knew I had one snooze before I really had to leave.

She's not been swallowed by a troll after all

Jane's level of imagination is astonishing to me. Her pre-school teacher says she's the 'role play queen' at nursery. Having had two autistic boys who both still struggle to use their imagination, it's been great to expose them to her play.  In this kind of way, Jane's play is the marvel and breath of fresh air when it comes to games in the home... sometimes.

A cycle through the woods: A Thorpe Forest review

Our stay at Thorpe Forest was wonderful.  A true break away that left us relaxed and ready for.. well the rest of the summer holidays.  One of the activities we took part in was cycling through the forest and it was a lovely activity that we did everyday.