Baubles & Babbles: Aiming High

Welcome to my last Baubles and Babbles, my Christmas series that were little notes on helping my family communicate over the Christmas holidays. Before we head back to school, this last post is about setting expectations for the New Year.

Why ALL forms of communication are awesome in autism

"Does he have any more words yet?"

"Does he talk, does he say anything at all?"

A mum at a special needs playgroup once said to me, "I'm just desperate to hear her voice and hear her say mummy. Can you imagine not hearing that from one of your kids?"

Of course, I can.

However, I believe this mum made a basic error in her comment. True, her daughter doesn't talk, it doesn't necessarily follow that she doesn't have a voice.

Our son David has autism and no, he doesn't say any actual words. He uses makaton sign language most of the time. He sometimes uses PECS which is a series of picture cards to form sentences and he often vocalises with both of these. Without sign or PECS it would be extremely difficult for anyone to understand what he was saying. But trust me, my son has a voice.

He tells me when he wants something and tells me when he doesn't. He tells me when he's having fun and when he's distressed. And he's more likely to sign 'daddy' than 'mummy'. After all, why request me? I'm always here.

About a year ago David's signing vocabulary started to expand far beyond the 20 or so words he knew that mostly related to asking for his favourite food items. He started signing 'swing' in the garden and 'house' when it was time for home.

One afternoon I was retrieving him from the car after returning home from his nursery. He held me tight as I went to release him from the car seat. I took the opportunity for a hug and said 'hug' as I squeezed him awkwardly. I went to get him out for a second time and he grabbed me again. This time I stood back and said and signed 'hug'. Then I asked him what he wanted.

For the first time, David signed hug. I was close to tears. I praised him and he giggled, juggling around as I nearly crushed him. We continued signing and hugging for at least two minutes if not more. Soon, my daughter who was sat on the other side of the seat started asking for a cuddle too so we went into the house.

David may not say many words but we are working with him to help him say more. We have a great speech and language therapist that works with him and us. He will 'fit in' more if he talks, but even when he is older he could be like the other 25% of people with autism who are non verbal. Fitting in is not what we are after, unless that's what he indicts he wants of course.  Talking is not the be all and end all. He expresses his opinions and often understands situations. That's not even considering the progress he's made with his receptive language (the language he hears) such as following instructions.

I think David has a fine voice. Did you know a baby has to hear hundreds of repetitions of words to pick up them up. Everywhere they go, babies are listening and adding to their words lists. Imagine though that the baby didn't hear any of those words because they weren't engaged with them. I think David's had to pick up sign via a much shorter number of repetitions, just like hug above, because it's not happening everywhere.

No one signs at the shops, in the playground nor most other places we go. We don't even all sign to each other in the house, but that hasn't stopped him. And overall his I was far more delighted with his desire to sign and have a hug that I am about his perhaps odd attempt to say mummy. Even if he was only asking for a squeeze to help fill his sensory needs - he's getting what he needs.  And that or showing affection seems a fantastic way for him to use his voice if you ask me.

Bauble babbles:Follow their lead

A valuable thought to end our Bauble babbles and to continue into the new year - follow our kids.

Jane is busy make a big mess with the felt tip pens and the colouring books she got in her stocking. David was looking at a small book collection nearby. I thought I would try to engage him by picking up one of the books and looking at it. 

But David wasn't interested in me having a book, in fact me having a book meant he abandoned them altogether and started playing with the felt tip pens. Reading the book I had in my hands was no good, I was only able to engage him when I started to help him line up the pens.

I asked him which colour he would like next? And he responded until we had lined up the pens a few times.

Only by following David's agenda did I manage to engage him and get him to communicate with me. Lucky me!

Have a look at our Bauble babbles from the beginning, an idea a day while the holidays were here. 

From Monday, back to our regular blog posts, the random ramblings, thoughts and info from me, a mum of autistic and neurotypical kids. See you then. 

As listed on:

Bauble babbles: Wait for it...

Let's start the week with one of my favourites. Waiting. Bless my kids, waiting is not one of their talents, but thankfully I've learned that my ability to wait is a virtue when it comes to my boys communicating.

When the boys see so much it can be hard for them to filter the information they need from a question. Like a computer chugging along and slowing down when it has lots of tasks going on, my boys need time to work. They need time to process and then act. 

David needs plenty to time to form his thoughts into a communication. I need to wait. Eventually he manages to Makaton that he wants to watch Toy Story 3. Great - I'll put it on. 

Anthony needs lots of time to process and understand what I'm saying. I need to wait. At the pantomime today I took a snack with us so he eat something familiar. He was prepared for the idea of having ice cream during the interval but when I asked him I still had to wait for about 20 seconds for him to process what I was saying and accept my suggestion. 

20 seconds doesn't sound like a long time? Try it in the middle of a conversation, it feels like an age. After getting the ice cream, he had just two spoons from the tub. Anthony was then finished with it and returned to his familiar rice cakes. 

I'm not at all bothered that he only had a bit of ice cream. In fact it's quite daring if Anthony to eat ice cream that's not presented in a fine (as it should be). But if I'd not waited he'd have missed out on this theatre tradition and perhaps been disappointed later.

So good waiting, and watching of Toy Story 3 and nibbling of ice cream.

Tomorrow: more tips to talk over the festive season 

Last week: Use their choice of communication 

Notes: Thanks for reading Baubley babbles, my notes on helping my family talk over Christmas. My sons are both on the autistic spectrum and we have a two year old daughter. Our son, David is five years old and uses a variety of Augmented and Alternative Communication (AAC) to talk. Every school day till school restarts I'll post a one thing I'll be keeping in mind to help us all communicate over the festive holidays. Maybe some things will be of interest to you too.

Bauble babbles: Use their choice of communication

David uses both PECS and Makaton to communicate but he's not forced to use either of them instead of the other. Some people may use programmes like Proloquo2go or a talker device too.

If David manages to communicate that he wants to watch The Polar Express using key words with either his PECS or his Makaton sign I'm not going to force him to repeat it with the other device. This kind of exercise will only confuse him, no one else has to repeat themselves? I've found that if David has communicated to me asking him to repeat this only irritates him and causes him stress.  And despite my preference for Makaton, if he chooses PECS that's fine too.  Imagine the upset on Christmas Day if I asked him to request a present again because he used his PECS book instead of his Makaton?  I don't think so. The important thing is he communicates as best he can.... and that he gets another Christmas present... and to watch The Polar Express of course!

Yesterday - Modelling language 
Monday - more ways to help us communicate

Links
The Makaton Charity
Communication Matters - PECS

Notes: Thanks for reading Baubley babbles, my notes on helping my family talk over Christmas. My sons are both on the autistic spectrum and we have a two year old daughter. Our son, David is five years old and uses a variety of Augmented and Alternative Communication (AAC) to talk. Every school day till school restarts I'll post a one thing I'll be keeping in mind to help us all communicate over the festive holidays. Maybe some things will be of interest to you too.

Bauble babbles: Model the communication

Today it's about model communication. David's default communication method is Makaton. But that means it's my default when talking to him and sometimes when talking to the other kids too. If he's going to use his Makaton he has to know how. I wouldn't expect Jane our two year old to speak if I never spoke to her - same for David and his signing.

If I'm asking David if he'd like a mince pie, I need to use signs just like he does when I'm asking the question. I'm looking directly at him, just like he should look at me. I'm talking and signing just like he should. And I'm using the language he needs to understand, reply and be able to request again. It also means if I'm using a sign either I don't know or is unfamiliar that I can introduce it for practice in a meaningful way. For mince pie, I signed 'sweet' and a mini pie 'crust' sign. 

Whatever I'm using, I'm trying to do it myself and be consistent. Though I guess we might go through a fair few mince pies! 

Tomorrow - Use their communication choice
Yesterday - Reading our conversations social story

Links
The Makaton Charity - Christmas vocabulary

Notes: Thanks for reading Baubley babbles, my notes on helping my family talk over Christmas. My sons are both on the autistic spectrum and we have a two year old daughter. Our son, David is five years old and uses a variety of Augmented and Alternative Communication (AAC) to talk. Every school day till school restarts I'll post a one thing I'll be keeping in mind to help us all communicate over the festive holidays. Maybe some things will be of interest to you too.

Baubley babbles: Introduce and use festive vocabulary

Our Baubley babbles are my notes on helping my family communicate over Christmas.

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Baubley babbles: Aim high with your communication

Welcome to our Baubley babbles, my notes on helping my family talk over Christmas. My sons are both on the autistic spectrum and we have a two year old daughter. Our son, David is five years old and uses a variety of Augmented and Alternative Communication (AAC) to talk. Every school day till school restarts I'll post a one thing I'll be keeping in mind to help us all communicate over the festive holidays. Maybe some things will be of interest to you too.

Today: Aiming High

An opening thought, aim high with your kids communication. My kids make progress at school and I'm not always aware of how much they can do. But I do know David can string several Makaton signs together and when he is using PECS, he is at working at stage 4 + attributes. I also know Anthony's speech targets includes responding in full sentences.

I'm not going to withhold fun at Christmas or expect targets to be hit at all in the midst of present opening. But during the normal parts of the day, I can encourage the boys to request/respond in full sentences as appropriate.  During breakfast it a good idea as its routine. 

Jane is lucky she's at the point of forming  full sentences so she gets constant good modelling too. 

Tomorrow - introducing festive vocabulary

Links

Communication Matters - What is PECS?

The Makaton Charity