Tips for parents as more children need speech and language support

I saw a recent article on the BBC that showed the number of five and six-year-olds who need speech and language support at school has risen by 10% in England over the past year. As a parent of two children with speech and language and communication difficulties, related to their autism diagnoses, I know of the huge stretch this must create on the system.

From cold mother to super parent in less than a life time

Becoming a parent can be easy for some, more difficult for others. Being a parent can be the same. Some take to it like a fish to water and for others it can be a daily struggle.  I've taken to it OK I guess.  I don't know how I would have taken to it without the help I've had though.  This help and the changing attitudes in society has meant I'm no longer the 'cold mother' I would have been called 70 years ago.  These days I'm a 'super parent' and all because my boys have autism.

Dry Sensory Easter Rabbit Craft Activity

Some kids with autism can be sensitive to wet textures or not like mixing dry and wet textures together but still enjoy being creative.  We had great fun with this craft activity at a local group, Me Too & Co, which supports children with additional needs and their siblings.

Dry Sensory Easter Rabbit

Apart from cutting out rabbit shapes from coloured paper this activity is easy to set up.  Choose some different dry textures in bowls, add glue sticks and pens and let your kids have fun.  At Me Too & Co they had:

• Different coloured felt shapes including ovals, rectangles, squares and triangles
• Cotton wool pleats
• Little pom pom balls
• Feathers and
• Tissue string.

Encouraging fine motor stills

If your child has emerging fine motor skills then this is a great activity. Kids will need to use and develop their pincer grip in order to pick up bits of felt and the little pom poms.  If this is challenging, don't worry they can have an easier time with the feathers and tissue string.  

Pulling the cotton wool pleats apart will encourage bilateral motor skills (using both hands together to achieve an outcome).  By placing the bowls of bits around the child you will also encourage them to cross their mid-line when they reach over to grab items.

Using a glue stick may encourage a classic pencil grip but even if not it will still encourage pre-writing movements while you cover the rabbit with sticky glue.

Encouraging Labelling

Different shapes of felt and the different colours of items give you and opportunity to label shapes and colours.  It's also a good opportunity to label textures such as soft cotton wool, crinkly tissue paper or fluffy feathers.

You can also label using makaton, have a look at the Makaton #wetalkmakaton sign of week for helpful ideas.

Jane had a great time at Me Too & Co and I loved her finished rabbit. 

Links

Our blog - Sensory healthy flapjack recipe

Our blog - Gale winds and low sun: Is this what it is like for my autistic sons?

Autistic Anthony's always to blame, problems on the school run

A quarter of people with autism are non-verbal. They don't talk at all and may use other methods of communication. Our eldest son Anthony can talk well. He attends a regular mainstream school.  But that doesn't mean he's always understood. His honesty and difficulty communicating often means that without someone there who understands him, he is blamed for what's gone wrong.

Such an event happened on our way to school last week. Our school run, like many family's, is a busy one. David goes to a specialist ASD unit but we are lucky that this is located half a mile on the otherside of Anthony's school. This means we drive to David's school and park then Jane goes in buggy and Anthony goes on his scooter while we run this get to Anthony's school on time.  Yes, every single school day we are seen running across a cemetery. The traffic is so bad that it is more consistent to cut through the cemetery, with many other parents, than it is to try and drive and find somewhere else to park. Without the scooter for Anthony, we would be late everyday.

But with the scooter comes an extra hazard. We have practice stopping at roads and missing objects a lot. 

"Stop at the road"

"Look out for the gentleman" 

"Say excuse me"

"Careful by the buggy" 

These things get hollered a lot. 

Anthony has slipped on ice once this year, but on Friday it appeared he'd scootered straight into a little girl walking to his school.  It happened soo fast. My view was blocked for a second as we past a tree and then suddenly the little was on the floor and Anthony was stood their apologising. "I'm sorry," he said. "I couldn't get past. I hit her."

The girl was probably about five or six.  She was very upset, there was a lot of tears.  The girl's mother was giving her lots of hugs and said that these things happen. She even said for us to go so as there was no need for us both to be late for school. I think mostly the girl was just a bit surprised, but it looked like she'd hurt her hand and bumped her knee as she had fallen. I couldn't help feel guilty. I should have been closer, I should have shouted more warnings to Anthony. 

Then by the time I'd dropped Anthony to his class and talked to him and Jane, who was still in buggy, about being careful, I felt guilty in a different way.

I saw some great quotes on Twitter from The National Autistic Society and the AutismCon on Saturday.   According to a speaker, 99% of public say they have some understanding of autism but 84% of autistic people feel they are not understood. 

By the time Anthony had got to school I had determined by some answers from him (but mostly by conversing with Jane who is nearly three in comparison), that the little girl had infact stepped in front of Anthony and thrown her hand out to the side to point at something. Anthony had been passing but still hit her hand.

Despite the mum having said that these things happen I still felt like I should have defended him in some way. I felt guilty for almost assuming he was to blame.  I wanted to bump into the lady on the way back to our car, though what would I have said? "Excuse me, actually it wasn't only my son's fault that your daughter got hurt?"  Of course not, because I think the same, these things happen.

Anyone when they are in a stressful environment or hurt can have difficulties communicating. People whose first language is not English but can converse in it perfectly well can have difficulty and revert to their native tongue when stressed or in pain.  It's the same for lots of kids. My son will revert back to basic communication. "I hit her." He absolutely did hit her hand. "I couldn't get past." Well, no, neither would I if a hand was suddenly thrust into my path. "I'm sorry." Of course, no one wants anyone else to be hurt. 

I guess mostly I'm just aware that one day, these difficulties might have more serious repercussions. He's not going to grow of autism. What if he was asked to make an instant police report or appear in court? What if he was involved in a car accident? And this brings up the other point I saw from AutismCon. John Wilson said, "How do you communicate you are different if you have challenges with communication?"

This is undoubtedly something my boys and countless other autistic people face. And we will have to figure out how to help them with this.  He can learn. In the meantime, I can be proud that Anthony was very truthful about his actions, he didn't try and hide from what had happened. I can be proud that he was concerned for the little girl that was hurt. I can be pleased that his sister was there to help clarify what has happened. And I can try harder to keep up with him, so I'm right there if something happens. 

How do your kids handle confrontation or stressful situations? 

Links

Our blog - Our terribly truthful child

Our blog - Anthony's first experience of guilt

Our blog - Autism and the misunderstandings of empathy

External links

National Autistic Society (NAS) - Conferences

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I'm so happy my son has echolalia

Nearly 75% of verbal autistic people display some kind of echolalia. It is 'echoing' or repeating or words, sounds, sounds made by someone else. It's there because the child doesn't understand what's being said but thinks a response is appropriate.  It was one of the key 'symptoms' that led to our eldest son's Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnosis, so why on earth am I pleased our second son is now showing signs of echolalia?

Favourite Friday: David's iPad, an alternative to parenting?

I think if I told some people how long my son can play or should I say, is allowed to play, on his iPad I'd get strange looks. I know if I told people he spent hours everyday on it I'd be judged.

Some kids and adults with autism use their iPads to communicate. There are great programmes like Proloco2go that means an iPad becomes a tool to interact. But that's not what David does. He communicates mostly with Makaton sign language. In fact, one of the first signs David learned was the sign for iPad. So obviously I'm using it as an alternative to real parenting right? Here's why not..

On 'Favourite Fridays', Rainbowsaretoobeautiful will publish the most popular post from the previous week. If you missed it, then here's your chance to catch up.

Never taught how to break the ice, in a different key

Is it possible that people with autism are still locked away?  I simply couldn't imagine being parted from my children or them being hidden from society because they happen to be autistic.  This is undoubtedly what used to happen as reported in The Daily Telegraph this Saturday by Kate Chisholm whilst reviewing 'In a Different Key' by John Donvan and Caren Zucker. 

As I read the review I was, as I have been many times, so relieved to be living in a time and country where my children are not taken to state-run institutions where they will be pumped full of various narcotics in an attempt to 'normalise' or placate their behaviour.

One of the keys parts of the review focused on the blame put on mothers for their children being autistic. According to the review, an article in Times Magazine in April 1948 ran an article that suggested these (my) 'frosted children' became so because their 'refrigerator  mothers' failed to bond with them.  I suspect it is simply that the mothers were never given the tools to break through the ice.

I remember having a feeling of disappointment after my first son had his first speech and language therapy session.  They hadn't done or said anything?  In fact all the therapist seemed to do was show me specific ways of playing with my darling boy.  As if I didn't spend all day sometimes trying to play with him.  She had pointed out a few things she was doing and gave notes to me on them afterwards.

Of course I realised that I was being given strategies to do therapy at home.  It was simple things like encouraging gap filling, encouraging requesting, encouraging eye contact and all just by changing the way I spoke and moved. Our second child needed more assistance in the form of my learning Makaton sign language and him using a picture exchange system to communicate. In both occasions, I was given the strategies and equipment to help my 'frosted children', indeed, I as given the tools to break the ice and help them access the world around them.

I'm so thankful that attitudes and 'healthcare' described were not frozen in time.  Speech and language therapy along with many other types of therapy such as occupational therapy is not simply dispensed at an institution or health centre.  Certainly for us, it's a way of expanding my sons horizons and is delivered on a daily basis with a mother's love and compassion.  And when there is a breakthrough, the results simply melt my heart.

Links
Our Blog - Why ALL forms of communication are awesome, it's not all about talking
Our Blog - Comments from Steve Silberman on Neurotribes

External
The Telegraph - In a Different Key