Easter Break: Via Facebook & Twitter

During the Easter Break, I'll be taking a part-time break. 

I'll be highlighting 'Helpful Posts' via my facebook and twitter pages 

and I will still publish my Wonderful Wednesday shares and Favourite Friday posts. 

Normal service will resume after the Easter Break. xx

Favourite Friday: Getting into the Television

Jane and I were walking through a nearby park.  The sun was shining and if you stepped off the shady path into the sun you could almost forget the chilly breeze.  A gentleman with a dog, a big coat and hat walked past us.  Jane was busy commenting on some crocuses that were coming up through the grass.  As she looked back she saw the gentleman and said to me, "Look, I can see Sven."

Of course, she was talking about Sven from Disney's Frozen. By the time I'd figured out what she was saying, the gentleman was a bit far away to say hello, so we talked for a moment how we might see him again another day.  I also made a mental note to talk again to Jane, who is nearly three years old, about not talking to strangers without mummy or daddy.

Then, Jane announced that she had an idea. She'd figured out how we could see 'Sven' again. "You need to get some scissors and cut a hole in the television." Ahhh.. yes, that way we can get into Frozen.  Read the rest of the post here

On 'Favourite Fridays', Rainbowsaretoobeautiful will publish the most popular post from the previous week. If you missed it, then here's your chance to catch up. See all our Favourite Friday's posts here .

Appreciating the talents of others?

Sometimes it can seem as if a child with autism is stuck in their own world. Our son, David, can cut himself off from those around him and enjoy the time he has on his own. Anthony needs this time too but that doesn't mean he can't see what's going on around him or appreciate it.

We were nearly late getting Anthony to school a few days ago. As we arrived I had him set up for the idea that he would probably be going straight through to assembly. When I collected Anthony at the end of the day, he gladly let me know that I had been wrong and there hadn't been an assembly at school that day.  I suddenly thought that perhaps this had something to do with an Easter Parade, but as Anthony was not forthcoming with information I let the questioning slide.

Today I found out that the school had attended a rolling Easter Service at the Church and this is why there had been no assembly. See, I knew it had something to do with Easter, he does after all attend a church associated school. 

One of the girls from Anthony's class was singing at the service. Anthony's teaching assistant told us he had been very good during the service, he had also commented that his friends singing had been just wonderful. So I asked him about it.

He said that he couldn't talk about it. Her singing was just too beautiful to talk about.

Sometimes the emotions through his senses are just too high. In the same way Anthony doesn't want to look at rainbows because they are too beautiful, he attached such appreciation and delight in the memory of this girls singing. 

Isn't that just lovely. It's as if it took his breath away.

What took your breath away recently?

Links
Our blog - Mysteries of memories
Our blog - showing pride in others in Never prouder of last place 

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#WonderfulWednesday: The A Word

Usually my Wonderful Wednesday share is something I've seen or read that has touched me. This week I'm breaking this tradition to share something I've not seen yet.

Last night was the first episode of 'The A Word' on BBC1. I've seen lots of positive comments on social media but as I was working last night, I haven't had the chance to see it myself. Of course not all the positive comments are about positive feelings. For some it has brought back feelings of loss and others have found they relate well to the all too familiar sad situations it portrays. 

So if I haven't seen it, why am I sharing it? 

It's a BBC1 drama and its sharing an experience of autism. I've always said that if you know one person with autism then you know just one person with autism. Everyone is different and so is everyone with autism. My son's are hugely different to each other and to those we know who have also been diagnosed with ASD. I was never expecting The A Word to 'get it all right'. But it is spreading autism awareness to a mass audience and shows what it could be like. And that's worth promoting. 

If you've seen it, let me know your thoughts. If not, catch up with me via iPlayer. 

Links
Our blog - Comments from Steve Silberman on 'autisms'
Our blog - Without an ASD diagnosis, we would not...
BBC iPlayer - The A Word

The slightest change is difficult

This morning started off like any other. In fact it was going quite well, everyone had was dressed, had breakfast and we're ready to go nearly five minutes early. As we all got into the car to go to school I smiled as the car clock revealed we were ahead of schedule. But it was not to be in any part of the school run.

As we approached the bottom of the road we entered a stream of near stationary traffic. Sometimes there is a bit of a queue up to the round about junction which is about another 100m down the road but today's was unpresidented. It took over 10 minutes to travel 100m. 

Parents who were able to walk to their school strolled passed us at a leisurely pace. Anthony was sat in the front and I began to explain to him that there was a problem with the traffic and we would be late getting to school. We are rarely late but sometimes if we are it's better to drop the children at their respective schools in a different order. Today was going to be one of those days.

Anyhony and his younger sister Jane are able to understand this. David is not.

As we pulled up near Anthony's school, David was deep in the iPad and seems ok as I carried him and walked with Anthony and Jane to the school reception. Anthony was only 3 minutes late so we'd actually done well given the traffic.  However, as we entered reception, David recognised where we were and began to shout and scream. He wanted to get down. We had once had to take David to a meeting at Anthony's school. While he was there he played with a train set. That's what he remembered about here and that's what he was after. 

Anthony was taken through to his class and Jane and I walked back to the car holding a licking and screaming David.  He calmed down once back in the car but when I dropped him at his school he didn't go in as his happy usual self and insisted on hanging around in the playground with one of the assistants. 

It's sometimes easy to forget when things are going ok that these small changes that are so easily absorbed by some of us are a difficulty for others. David has probably now got over his change to his day but it's hard to know just what affect it will have had on his mood and what that might mean for his learning. 

It's impossible to tell when things won't go as you plan and there really is only so much extra time you can allow for things being different. Hopefully as David's understanding approves he will be able to. Impressed when change is happening and that will give him some time to adjust. Exposure seems to be the way forward. After all, Anthony used to really struggle and now he takes it in his stride ... sometimes.  

Links

Our blog - Mysteries of memories, autism and remembering

Our blog - Tearful transition turns out ok

It's time to tell him

There are some things you never expect your children to say.

Anthony is crushing his forehead with his hands.  He's making a haunting noise that's a cross between a scream and a growl. And then he said, "Please, kill me, then make me again with a brain that works properly."

Sometimes I wonder if our son is aware of his difficulties.  Anthony has autism, ADHD and a bit of hypermobility and anxiety thrown in for good measure. He knows some things, like he finds it difficult to sit still and has someone help him at the school.  But this was the first time I've been stopped in my tracks by his awareness.

It was over something as simple as copying a sum from a screen onto a piece of paper.

Anthony was converting a picture sum into a column addition. He was doing the sums very well but after a short time started to struggle. His poor motor skills meant he wasn't always lining the numbers up correctly and he started to forget what he needed to do to work the sum out. "Ohhh mum, my brain and fingers are being very naughty," he said.  A few sums later and he was becoming annoyed and upset by his own inabilities.

"Kill me," he screamed.  "Please, kill me, then make me again with a brain that works properly."

Can you imagine?

I felt my heart thump in my chest, like a booming base drum.  Where was the next beat...?.  The world suddenly seemed in slow motion. I felt my eyes widen and glisten as my stomach shivered. Then I couldn't tell where my failing heart ended and my stomach started.  Oh son.  On the outside I held it together, inside I was a mess.

You see, Anthony's brain works differently as part of his autism.  He processes everything differently.  Sometimes this makes things more challenging and sometimes he sees things in a wonderful way that no one else does. Anthony has also been diagnosed with ADHD.  This is an added complication. Not only does his mind work differently, but then he also loses focus, making some tasks even more challenging.

Anthony knows he can copy sums.  He knows he can work out the answers.  He's learned to overcome difficulties with sensory input and seeing things differently.... and then his mind fails him again with concentration.  Please, give my kid a break, I thought.

Of course I hugged him, helped him focus and worked him through the sum.  I said he had done his sums very well and he could finish. No more homework for him tonight.  I was relieved, to say the least, when he told me he didn't want to die.  That he was just frustrated and being a literal thinker he was pretty sure the only way to get a new brain was to die first, and he didn't want that.  Perhaps I'll talk to him about neurosurgery later...much later.

We've always been in agreement that Anthony should know about his autism, ADHD etc when it seems right.  And we are now on the edge of labelling Anthony's conditions for him. He knows he has hypermobility. When the physiotherapist gave him exercises to do it made sense to tell him.  He says his knees are being silly. Perhaps it's no surprise that he thinks his brain is malfunctioning and being 'naughty'.  He has commented before that his brain is not doing as he asks.

I know we'll highlight all the good things about him.  It's not going to be a brand new thing, we've been drip feeding him the idea for a while. But I'm still extremely nervous.  I feel that thump... thump in my chest again just thinking about it.   Anthony's unexpected outburst means it's time for us to do what we've been expecting.  However he reacts, we'll be there to support him.  But it is time to tell him. It's time he had the opportunity to understand himself.

If you have stories about telling someone you love about a condition they have..please feel free to share your link.  Email me if you don't wish to use the comments box and I'll add your link for you.

Favourite Friday: Autistic Anthony is always to blame

A quarter of people with autism are non-verbal. They don't talk at all and may use other methods of communication. Our eldest son Anthony can talk well. He attends a regular mainstream school.  But that doesn't mean he's always understood. His honesty and difficulty communicating often means that without someone there who understands him, he is blamed for what's gone wrong.

Such an event happened on our way to school last week. Our school run, like many family's, is a busy one. Read more...

On 'Favourite Fridays', Rainbowsaretoobeautiful publishes its most popular post from the previous week. If you missed it, then here's your chance to catch up.  See all our Favourite posts here

Shoes... in the laundry?

David is five years old and attends a specialist autism education unit.  Being five and having ASD means school activities are still based around play and developing the senses.  The other day, I was met by David being carried by his key worker at the gate of the school.

#WonderfulWednesday: The one with the A word

My Wonderful Wednesday share this week is from 'Random Thoughts from a Random Woman' called 'The one with the A word' about receiving an autism diagnosis for her son.

It's a common thing to post about, but I'm sharing it for two reasons.  Firstly, it caught my attention because it's less than a week until BBC's 'The A Word' comes out.  We have known both our boys are autistic since before they were four years old but it won't be long until at least one of them is also aware of the A word too. Secondly, and more importantly, there's nothing like this on my blog.

I started blogging quite a few years after our kids diagnoses. I'd come to terms with their condition and most of my blogging is about overcoming challenges, things that help and heart felt achievements.  This post from 'Random Thoughts from a Random Woman' gives a lovely example of what that first period after an autism diagnosis can be like. Every parent and person feels differently about the diagnosis.  Some parents and people may have fought for a diagnosis, waiting months in some cases.  Others are scared of it. Either way, being nervous about it all is completely normal.

We have found having a diagnosis for our kids is very beneficial.  We've been better able to access services for example.  Our boys aren't any different because of the diagnosis.  Indeed, most of all it has helped us understand them and soon it may help them understand themselves.

Links
Our blog - Without an ASD diagnosis we would not...
Our blog - What is there had been an autism screening? Would I still have had my kids?
Our blog - How autism is like the new courtesy car