Tuesday 27 September 2016

An interview with Anthony - the bigger ones tag

Anthony with autism in the park

My kids see the world differently to me.  Even Jane who currently doesn't seem to be on the autistic spectrum (won't rule it out though) is just three years old, so must see it differently too. I am always looking for new ways to gain an insight into the way they think, and now I have another one to try.

My blogging buddy Catie over at An Imperfect Mum (though I think I disagree?) also has a son with autism and went on the hunt for questions for an interview with him.  Although the Telegraph's 25 questions to ask your child was considered a bit long, Catie decided to condense them to 10 and wondered if like the Telegraph article suggested - she would be 'surprised by the answers'? Or cry or smile?

Catie's boys had some lovely answers and so Catie created the #BiggerOnes Tag...for bloggers to tag each other and find out more about their 'bigger' kids.  So without further waiting, here's the answers and what I discovered and how I felt.

An interview with my 8 year old...

1 Who's your best friend?

I don't have one. I suppose its you or dad. (So recently we've been telling Anthony that it's not nice to tell his little sister that he likes any other members of the family better, so now he's trying hard to have us all as equals!)

2 What do you want to be when you grow up?

A dentist, I used to want to be a baddie, like in films, but I've decided that's too violent for me. 

3 If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?

I'm already super! But I suppose I could be bigger and super!

4 What are the three best things about being you?

I don't know, I don't understand. 

5 What are the best and worst things about mum?

You don't have any worst bits. It's all the best.  (Aawwhhhhh, sniff sniff)

6 Can you name one thing that scares you?

Being on my own...
Really Anthony, but you like to be by yourself when you get back from school?
That's not the same as being on my own....

7 What’s the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?

Help me or hug me. 

8 How do you describe me to your friends?


9 If you could go anywhere in the world for a day, where would you go?

Into a rocket.

10 Which three words describe you best?

Eh? Well in the rocket I'd be fast, fast, fast.

Why can I never have an easy blog post?

I was struck my so many things asking Anthony these questions.  A rocket didn't surprise me too much - after all Anthony does Karting and loves going fast, but other things did surprise me or catch me off guard.

It was pretty obvious that he is having a lot of difficulty with his attention deficit (ADHD) and perhaps also his understanding as he simply didn't either understand or figure out how to respond to some of the questions. Mostly these were about thinking about communication or conversations, like describing things.  Even the last question, he could describe himself in terms of being in a rocket... but not himself?  Our lad can tell us he needs to put on intermediate tyres on a kart because he's not getting enough grip, but he couldn't tell me how he would describe me to his friends because 'I don't ever talk to my friends about you like that, so I don't know.'  It's a bit like Spock being asked 'How do you feel?' and he says, 'the question is irrelevant', though obviously it is not the case for Anthony.

For despite us knowing that Anthony is popular at school, he is scared of being on his own. For a boy who has difficulty communicating, understanding the actions of others, difficulty with understanding person space etc,  being on his own at times, like many other kids with autism is a definitely possibility - I got a bit sad when he said this.   His insight here floored me.  Deciding to be on his own, is not the same as being on his own...I think, he means lonely.

He also doesn't really see anyone at school as a best friend either, still listing family above peers. And why not.. when his mum has no worse bits (still wiping a tear away over that one).

My favourite answer, by far has to be to questions 3, where he already thinks he is 'a super'. Even if he lacks confidence in others maybe, its quite the achievement that he's got some in himself as its something he has really struggled with in the past.  Learning about his diagnosis definitely helped him there to see himself as the wonderful individual he is. This answer gave me big, ear to ear smile!

I hope you enjoyed the questions and answers. As per Catie's idea, I tired to think of a few brilliant bloggers with 'Biggers ones' to interview to tag... , here;s Catie's post to grab the badge.

diaryofanimperfectmum bigger ones tag
This post also supports The Makaton Charity #wetalkmakaton sign of the week 'Smile'


  1. I think your post is peavey interesting and our children do see the world from a very different view point to us grown ups.
    How wonderful that he already thinks he's super - that's confidence for you!

  2. I've tried doing these sort of tags with my daughter but she loses interest very quickly. It's lovely that he thinks of himself as a super. #dreamteam

  3. What a lovely tag! Its really nice to see how our little ones (or not so little ones) see the world around them. I did a similar interview with my three year old daughter for her birthday and it was really sweet to see her view of us and the world around us :-) Emily #bestandworst

  4. What a lovely little interview with your son.
    And I agree, he is super! :)

    Thanks for joining in with #MMBC. Hope you can make it next week x

  5. Thank you so much for taking part Hun. What a great insight this has given. I hate to think of Anthony feeling lonely but I know that my big lad used to feel like that too. I think it is fabulous that he sees himself as super and you must have had a lump in your throat at number 5. #Ablogginggoodtime ❤️

  6. Yes, I loved his answer about being super, too, that's absolutely wonderful. And very insightful about being alone, too - there is a difference. It's always so interesting to get that insight, great idea for a chat and then a post. Thanks for sharing with #WotW

  7. Ahh this is a great tag, love all those answers. Thanks for sharing with the #bestandworst

  8. Thank you for the tag, I'll give it a go with one of mine if I can get their attention long enough :)

  9. Aw thank you for the tag - I am looking forward to having a good chat with my stepson for our answers...I loved his answer to question 5 and also that he is super - his personality really shines through! Thank you for linking up to #dreamteam

  10. This is lovely and just love his honest. I totally get about being on your own and said so perfect. Your son sounds lovely and you should be really proud of him X #spctrumSunay

  11. I love this and I really wish I could do this with my son but he doesn't understand questions. Well out of routine questions anyway. I understand the answer about being on your own. I like being on my own but I do feel lonely at times. I think that answer would have made me sad too as my biggest fear is that Ethan will be on his own when he is older. I do love that your son thinks of himself as Super, a real superstar.

    Thanks for linking up with Small Steps Amazing Achievements :0)

  12. What a lovely tag - it's always interesting to see how our kids see themselves!
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

  13. I love these interviews with the kids as it shows you so much. Even though we're around them all the time, we tend to take them forgranted and are surprised by how they answer our questions. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo


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