Monday, 8 March 2021

Girl Power

It's International Women's Day.  Often on this blog I write a lot about our boys.  Their conditions mean a lot of our lives are orientated around them and helping them grow and adjust to life.    I'm proud of every challenge passed and battle conquered.  Just ask my power ranger son in one of my most popular posts. But that doesn't mean the girls in our house and those we've come across aren't brilliant too. Here's a few of the highlights to celebrate us. 

My daughter wants to be King

It was nativity play time.. and who will she want to be?  An angel?  A star? Nope. Now, I know Jane's perception may not ben quite right, but it's the principle I liked with her choice. Later I wondered if Jane's desire to be someone who helps others stems from her being a young siblings to two boys with autism and special educational needs. She undoubtedly looks out for them, and perhaps even for me.  Read about the girl who wants to be king here

From cold mother to super parent in less than a life time

Less than a lifetime ago, in 1948, The Times Magazine ran an article suggesting that autism in children was caused by their mothers. Many people with autism have difficulty engaging with the world, or at least appear to. This article suggested that these 'frosted children' became autistic because their 'refrigerator mothers' failed to bond with them. Autism was caused by poor parenting. These days I'm a 'super parent' and all because my boys have autism.


No one plans to be the mother to autistic children. It's almost impossible to do so. But no one plans to have a daughter playing the role of mother when she is just three years old either. I've been trying to work out if this is a happy post or a sad post.. and I'm still not sure.


The truth is, that if in 20 years, I still have the privilege of tying my son's shoes to enable us to go somewhere we like and we enjoy our time together, then that is time well spent. It's just probably not the future many parents see.


I'd always been in favour of working with the nursery/pre-school/school our kids were at. And most of the time it worked. The problem is when you've done everything you can do together and it's not enough then in reality it's just down to me. I never saw that mum again and never got to thank her - for showing me that even if I've got all they can give, if it's not enough for my son, then it's not enough. When another mum showed me what I needed to know.

And finally celebrating the mother that many of us are ... to a special mum reminds us that simply being a mother to our kids is an amazing achievement and one worth being proud of. 


9 comments:

  1. I agree being a mum is an amazing achievement, sending love xx #KCACOLS

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  2. Being a mum is wonderful, but it can be hard too'kcacols

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  3. Gosh I didn't know people used to think autism was caused by cold mothers - thank god understanding has moved on hey! Lovely post x #KCACOLS

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  4. I can't believe that it was as recent as the 1940s that people held that belief. In all honesty I do think there is still some of that prejudice around. When I first went to CAMHS around 20 years ago my mum felt accused of being a bad parent and that it was her fault I had the struggles I did. I do hope things have changed since then. Thank you so much for linking up with #KCACOLS.

    Katrina x

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  5. OMG.Of course it was the mother's fault (interestingly how the father's almost always absent behaviour had zero impact back then....)

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    1. #KCACOLS (the above comment is in dismay & disbelief, not that I genuinely thought it was the mother's fault...just that of course they blamed her)

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  6. Have you heard of the book, Genderswapped Fairy Tales? Made me think of it when you mention your daughter wants to become king :) #KCACOLS

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  7. As a mother of 4son's I am not into girl power as such, having said that, go girl!#k acols@_karendennis

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