Relationships with friends or more is one of the things hanging around in the back of your mind when you have an autistic child. Will they, won't they.. can they? Every person with autism is different and what they want out of their life and how they interact with people and the world is different too.
And the thoughts about him being in a relationship, becoming a father and the difficulties he may face with this came to my mind again when a few days ago he declared he didn't want to be a dad anymore. I wondered why? Why doesn't he want to a dad anymore?
"What if they (the child) makes me angry, I'm worried I might hurt them. And I'm not good at homework and I have to be able to help them.. what if I can't?"
What more can I say? My son continues to astound me. Anthony is only eight years old, he has autism, ADHD, anxiety and a few other bits and pieces. He knows this. Sometimes he's happy with it, sometimes it frustrates him and sometimes he shows an extraordinary amount of empathy and care that melts my heart or brings a tear to my eyes. And he had many qualities that I think would be great in a father.
But son, with this single comment showing these concerns and this attitude, you couldn't be a better father. Here is the truth:
Every parent gets angry at some point
Every parent wonders if they are good enough
And this is when we are old enough to be parents. At eight years old my son, you have years to work on these. But more than that.. your doubts make me think you would be a great father. Your sister Jane may walk around with a doll but that doesn't mean she'd make a better parent. To parent is to take care of or bring up and what you are concerned about could not make you more parent-like.
Anthony may have struggles ahead with his own feelings, his friendships, his affections. As his parents, we will be here to help him through these times and hope to help him achieve whatever it is he really wants to do. As always, I'm ever so proud of you son.
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