Tuesday 22 March 2022

About some other mothers for Mother's Day

As mother's Day approaches, I looked back through my blog to see what I've written in the past. I thought abut doing a nice gift or garden growing activity for my Mother's Day post, but instead I looked back through at posts that weren't about mother's Days, but were instead about mothers. Mothers who have helped me, mothers who have taught me, mothers who in the past were blamed for their kids being autistic. Mothers' who didn't understand our family and mother's whose predicament I completed understood and felt for. So for this Mother's Day, that's what I'm going to share. Click on the titles for the full stories. 

To the mother dragging her son on the pavement - I get it
I may not know who you are, or the circumstances surrounding this time when your were filmed. I wonder if anyone offered to help. I wonder if you've been supported. I know that sometimes I'm at wits end and I don't know what else to do. I know I've been given much advice and strategies to help and sometimes they just don't work. I know that many people don't understand my kids or what it's like to parent them. I know I love my kids to bits and would never do anything to hurt them. Nevertheless, I still know that this woman and child on a video, could easily have been me.

I never saw that mum again and never got to thank her - for showing me that even if I've got all they can give, if it's not enough for my son, then it's not enough.

From cold mother to super parent
Becoming a parent can be easy for some, more difficult for others. Being a parent can be the same. Some take to it like a fish to water and for others it can be a daily struggle. I've taken to it OK I guess. I don't know how I would have taken to it without the help I've had though. This help and the changing attitudes in society has meant I'm no longer the 'cold mother' like they were 70 years ago.

Talking to other mums - dinosaur and kitten chat

It can be difficult to talk to other mums about your kids when your kids have additional needs and theirs don't. It's not that I have difficulty talking about my kids. It's just almost impossible to talk about my boys without mentioning that they are on the autistic spectrum. Conversations just fizzle out or become difficult because the other parent and I have very different experiences and we struggle to find common ground. It's like they are bringing up kittens and I have dinosaurs.  Until I met other mums who understood.

And finally....
I am mum before therapist, mum before dietitian and mum before engineer. And although these roles are currently an integral part of my job as their mum, I'll still be their special mum when these roles change. I'll always look out for them, support them, fight for them, celebrate their achievements, comfort their sorrows and love them unconditionally like no one else can. Just like my mum did.

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