Wednesday, 12 October 2016

WonderfulWednesday: To the mother whose autistic child couldn't behave


This week's wonderful Wednesday share comes from Kate at A Less Refined Mind and is about her encounter with an autistic child at a sensory centre.

Seemingly ignored by her mother who appeared to offer her child's autism as excuse for her behaviour, the little child appeared  like a 'Tazmanian devil' who hurdled and snatched toys. Somewhat disgruntled by the mothers lame apologies, Kate was considering writing a rather grumpy piece 'to the mother whose autistic child couldn't behave' but was stopped in her tracks.

Whilst considering the piece about parents who couldn't control their children regardless of their conditions, Kate spoke with her cousin who had first hand experience of a mum and autistic kids, and she was so glad she did. Why... here's what Kate said:


If you read my blog you will know this is familiar.  Tess Stimson wrote a piece in the Daily Mail about the disruptive behaviour of a disabled child in a restaurant, and said there was no excuse for bad parenting. If you can't control your kids, don't bring them out.  But of course many parents like me need the opportunity to teach our kids how to behave and how to operate and they only get that through practice and the ability of others to let them practice.

Upon reading my response to the article, Tess said she was sorry too, it was so heartfelt that she was moved and asked the Daily Mail to commission an article for her to spend time with a family with autism - why not encourage that here.  And just like Tess, Kate in this post also realised that perhaps the mother and daughter were doing the best they could and probably deserved a bit more understanding.

My wonderful Wednesday post is about how spreading information and understanding of autism and other conditions, gives hope that our kids may get the chance to be accepted, even appreciated for themselves in society. Whilst I agree with Kate that parenting an autistic child can be exhausting (David got up for the day today at 3am and that's just his sleep issues I'm mentioning) I would challenge the idea that it is a thankless task. Our kids show appreciation in different ways but I accept it no less. This is a minor point.  In the end Kate had a greater understanding of what many parents with autistic children go through and was thankful that at the time she'd at least appeared sympathetic to the mum and little girl in the sensory centre. I can assure Kate, that will have been gratefully received.

It's a great read and a good post, if you haven't read it yet, please do.  I really appreciate Kate writing the piece after what she learned, not everyone would have.  Thank you Kate.

8 comments:

  1. People can be very quick to judge when they don't know the circumstances. I would also challenge the idea that it is thankless as my son shows his love in many many ways... Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

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    1. Agreed - and I think that's a bit of Kate's point. Once she had some understanding she saw things a bit differently. Thanks for commenting.

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  2. People are going to be judged no matter what in life, whether you are a parent/child etc. I think people judge parents and their children far too quickly making the parent feel uncomfortable and therefore not helping the situation for anyone. I believe in being nice to anyone and everyone, no matter what situation, but I do love your post and your points brought forever and think they make excellent reflective piece for people to ponder over. #marvmondays

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    1. Perhaps you are right. And I do believe Kate was nice at the time, saying that she understood when the mother mentioned autism. However, as she mentions in her post, Kate really only felt she actually did understand after speaking to someone with first hand experience. And then her outlook changed and she really did get some perspective on the family. Which is great - I think.

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  3. I'm so glad there's more awareness now around children with disabilities such as autism (though not the negative side). My brother was diagnosed with autism around 20 years ago and almost no one we met really knew anything about the condition. You'd think now there's so much more information about, people would be more understanding. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

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    1. According to the NAS, over 90% of the population have heard of autism but only 16% of autistic people feel that it's understood. If it's not yet understood then it can be difficult to accept. And I think perhaps this is the leap Kate has made. She's heard about autism but didn't really understand about it so didn't know what was going on at the centre. Not Kate's fault and good on her for finding out more about it.

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  4. You would think as people become more aware of this they would stop judging so much. Unfortunetely not. It's a shame just how much people judge parents and their children. Great post. #MarvMondays

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    1. Well possibly yes, this is the case, autism or not or anything else. It's somehow very easy in today's culture to blame and judge I think. Thanks for commenting.

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