Wednesday, 6 July 2016

#WonderfulWednesday: Labelling children's behaviour

How to think of your chils actions poem

This week's wonderful Wednesday share starts with a facebook post from Dinky and Me and was inspired by this image from Aspergers Experts. The image shows a statement that fits with a 'don't judge a book by it's cover' type scenario. Don't start by assuming kids are behaving badly.


I think this is a wonderful way to look at things. Far more of my kids actions are determined by a concern, worry or fear than they are by them being naughty.  Start with the positive assumption first. This heart breaking incident with our son David, was brought out of fear but to the passer by would have looked like a terrible tantrum and terrible parenting.  As one lady says and produces T-shirts to the fact, my kids are mostly 'Auty not Naughty'.

The comment by Dinky and Me goes a bit further too, to consider 'behaving badly' as a label. Whether I like it or not, I know some of my kids have been labelled as:

  • Odd / Strange
  • Naughty
  • Violent
  • Stupid(!)
Someone's Mum even had her darling autistic son labelled 'scary'.

Some people shy away from labelling my kids as ASD or autistic. But that's exactly right, it is their diagnosis and its only through this that we have been able to get the support they need. This is not labelling my kids.  It is simply a matter of who they are.

I'd rather if you needed to describe my kids behaviour to say they were concerned about something or worried than they were naughty and I have no problem with you saying they are autistic.  My eldest recognises autism as being part of his wonderful self and this quote on Life ASD and the Rest just about melted my heart when a proud child said his autism was 'very autismy'

Labelling, by it's very nature is categorising, and perhaps viewing as individuals would be more appropriate.  Think about books without covers? Please have a look at these great posts above; they highlight much of what I think about when talking about my kids, remind me to consider how I view the actions others and how they may perceive their actions themselves.

Our other posts
Without an ASD diagnosis, we would not...
My joy of his acceptance - he is happy with his autism
Autism parenting: The heartache of one shoe, my son's despair


As listed on:
You Baby Me Mummy

2 comments:

  1. We never use punishments or consequences. I know that sounds odd to some, but they are just not effective, there's no point. We plan for the anxiety and behaviour in advance when we can, and we follow the Ross Greene Plan B method wherever possible. Life runs more smoothly that way!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is totally shocking how any child could be labelled as scary. We need to be aware of self-fulfilling prophecies if we are labelling our children. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

    ReplyDelete

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