My CarersWeek 2019

This week is Carers Week for 2019.  My week will like many others, full of highs and lows, based mostly on the highs and lows of my kids.  I have three kids and although I'm 'mum' to all three, I'm also a parent carer to my sons Anthony, age 11 and David, age eight.

I'm their carer because I am someone who "cares, unpaid, for a friend or family member who due to illness, disability, a mental health problem or an addiction cannot cope without their support."  You may claim that an 11 and eight year old can't cope without support anyway, but the help and assistance I give my boys goes well beyond that required of a typical child their age. This means that they impact on my life not only as a parent, but as their Carer.

It can make things more challenging. Doing anything for myself can be a struggle as they need my help most of the time and there are very few people who can ‘cover’ for me.  There are few people who understand my kids enough to even keep them physically safe. Fewer who understand their emotional well being needs.

This can make parent caters isolated, and perhaps that’s why this year’s Carers Week is focused on getting Carers involved in their communities. I know that finding local groups like Skylarks has been invaluable to me.

For Carers Week this year, I’m sharing a week's worth of my 'caring' (just Mon-Fri), to give an insight. See what you think.

• On a Monday (20th August 2018) I helped my kids understand that their Great Papa had died.  Struggling with the death of a relative can be difficult for many children, but as a parent Carer of autistic kids, there’s more to think about. Read about my Monday as a carer in 'Helping an autistic child when someone dies'. 

• On a Tuesday (10th July 2018) Anthony took part in Sports Day at school. This always takes a fair bit of prep at home. We can practice races and talk about what’s going to happen. But it’s not practice to win... it’s all about helping him cope. See about my pride in my son in 'When Sports Day is little to do with sport'.

• On a Wednesday (29th May 2019) I found David at the bottom of the stairs when he should have been in bed.  Being the parent of a fairly pre-verbal autistic child can be challenging especially when there is crying involved. No one can say what’s happened. See a Wednesday in 'When his sister cries and what our autistic son did'. 

• On a Thursday (21st March 2019),  I reflected on a passing comment to one of my kids actions ‘don’t worry, this will pass.’ Except in our case it won’t. This post possibly highlights one of the ways being a parent Carer is different - how parenting my kids autistic kids doesn’t match with most peoples natural understanding of them ‘growing-up’. Find out why I felt this way on a Thursday in 'No this won't pass... why parenting my autistic kids is different'. 

• On a Friday (7th December 2018), I wanted to bring a relatively famous person into the house - The Elf on the Shwlf. But for our kids this isn’t so easy. Read about a recent Friday as a carer in 'How we got an Elf on the Shelf our autistic kids could cope with'. 

This year Carer's week are continuing their focus on building communities which support carers to look after their loved ones well, while recognising that they are individuals with needs of their own. In these communities, carers feel recognised and valued.

I hope you've enjoyed a glimpse into my Carers Week.  How was your week?